The MisAdventures of James Potter
by Meliantha
Summary: Join us as we trek through the lifetime of a rare species of wizard known as the mischevious James Potter...
1. TroubleMaker Extraordinaire!

**1**

**Troublemaker Extraordinaire!**

            James Potter was not your normal eleven-year-old boy.  Actually, he was quite _ab_normal.  With his mother an accomplished Healer at St. Mungo's Institution for Magical Maladies and Injuries, and his father a highly-acclaimed Auror, how could he _not_ be?  The Potters were part of an ancient line of pureblood wizards that dated back hundreds of years (his mother, originally Elaine Travis, had a grandfather who was a muggle, but they didn't talk much about him), and James was no exception.  Ever since he was very small, it was easy to tell that he was magically inclined.  His peas would often "mysteriously" disappear, or one of the neighbor's dogs would sometimes turn bright pink, by simple "chance."

            But, despite their magical tendencies, the Potters lived in a perfectly normal neighborhood in the perfectly normal city of London (making for quite some trouble with the ministry, as they often had to come and reverse James's "accidental" jinxes).  James, however, was not content with this façade of "normality."  Every day after his parents left for work that he didn't have school, James would thwart his house elf's attempts to keep him in the house and torment the neighborhood by exchanging their petunias for Venus flytraps and setting their perfectly shaped hedges aflame.  However, because they never witnessed such mischief-making, Mr. and Mrs. Potter were none the wiser.

            On this particular summer day, James had something special in mind for old Arabella Figg, the cat-loving Squib who lived two doors down.  He was carefully hidden in the large magnolia overlooking Mrs. Figg's house, a line of Filibuster's Fireworks parading down the branches near him and a squirt gun firmly gripped in his hand.  If he was right about her schedule, and he normally was, then she'd be coming out any minute now to water her begonias…

            "Whatcha doin' up there?" a voice called.

            James jumped in surprise and began to slip from his precarious perch.  He scrabbled frantically to keep from falling as Mrs. Figg emerged from her house – right on schedule.  Hearing the sounds of James's struggling, she looked directly at him.  James froze, hoping with all his soul that she wouldn't see him.

            Much to his dismay, not only did she see _him_, but she also saw the line of fireworks aimed directly at her and the squirt gun still clenched in his hand.

            "JAMES GARRETT POTTER!"  she bellowed, and the boy wisely took his cue to abandon ship, dropping, catlike, to the ground.  "WAIT 'TIL YOUR PARENTS HEAR ABOUT THIS; I'LL MAKE SURE YOU RECEIVE PROPER PUNISHMENT; I NEVER – "

            But by then, James was already two blocks away, dragging a small and rather pudgy boy behind him.  Once he was sure he was safe, he rounded on the owner of the voice that had ruined his brilliant plan.

            "YOU!" he raged, the boy cringing in fear.  "How many times do I have to tell you _not_ to talk to me when I'm doing something?!"

            "But I…I just thought…" the smaller boy stammered.

            "You _didn't_ think, that's what!" James roared.  "You _can't_ help me, Peter, you – "

            "Master James!" an elfish voice called, interrupting James's tirade.

            He scowled.  "Coming, Farríl!" he shouted over his shoulder, then glowered at the trembling Peter.  "You got lucky this time, Pete, but next time, just stay out of the way, alright?"  And with that said, James stalked off to his house, leaving a teary-eyed Peter behind.

            It wasn't his fault that he bumbled everything…

Okay, so maybe it was, but that didn't mean James had to get mad at him!  He never gave Peter a chance!  

            A thought suddenly occurred to the boy, and his brow furrowed in concentration.  Maybe, just maybe…yes, it was perfect!  With a fresh bounce in his step, Peter hurried back to Mrs. Figgs' house.

*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

            "What is it, Farríl?" James asked exasperatedly as he shut the door behind him.  The elf gave him a wide, toothless grin and produced a letter from one of the many pockets of her makeshift apron.

            "Master James got a letter today," she declared happily, handing the boy a thick envelope before wandering into the kitchen to prepare his lunch.

            James didn't even have to look at the seal or the green scrawl on the front of the letter to guess where it was from – he had been anticipating its arrival for _ages_.  Ecstatic, he ripped the top off the envelope and hastily removed its contents, allowing the envelope itself to flutter, forgotten, to the ground.  His eyes scanned the parchment hungrily again and again, almost as if he were trying to confirm its veracity.

            Hogwarts.  He knew he'd be getting the letter of acceptance, but it was a whole different matter to be holding it in his hands, reading Professor McGonagall's tidy handwriting with the knowledge that soon he'd be on the Hogwarts Express and heading toward Hogwarts itself.

            Hogwarts.

            James came out of his awed stupor with a jolt, suddenly registering the last statement – "We await your owl by no later than July 31."  Clutching the priceless parchment in his hand, James raced up the stairs, shouting at the top of his lungs for his owl.  He burst into his room, and the tawny owl hooted in welcome.  "There you are, Rex," James panted.  The owl hooted again.

            The boy sank heavily into the chair at his desk and hastily scribbled a note letting Hogwarts know that he'd received his letter.  He tied the parchment to Rex's leg then launched him out the window, beaming at the owl's retreating form.

            "Master James, your lunch is ready!  And Peter Pettigrew is at the door!"

            "Coming!" James replied cheerfully, not bothering to wonder why the boy was here.  Even Peter wouldn't be able to spoil his happy mood.

            Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs and seeing Peter's round face, James momentarily considered continuing his rant from earlier.  But he dismissed it, deciding he'd rather remain in high spirits.

            "Hey, Peter," he greeted the boy amicably.  Peter winced, then blinked in surprise when he realized James wasn't yelling.

            "Um…I…I thought you might want these," Peter stuttered, producing the forgotten fireworks from behind his back.  

            James stared for a moment in disbelief, then his face cracked open in a Cheshire grin.

            "Thanks, Peter!" he exulted, accepting the fireworks from the rotund boy.  "You know, you aren't half bad."

            "Really?" said Peter hopefully.

            "Really," said James, and Peter beamed.

*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

            "Diagon Alley!  Diagon Alley!" James chanted, Peter following clumsily behind and taking up the cry.

            Elaine Potter giggled as she and her husband led James and Peter through the Leaky Cauldron.  "He's so excited," she mused, looking thoroughly tickled by her son's antics.

            "Well, he has reason to be," Garrett Potter declared.  "Today he becomes a full-fledged wizard - today he gets his wand."

            And so it was.  Both Garrett and his wife had taken the day off from work to buy James his school supplies, Mrs. Figg's tattling forgotten in light of James's acceptance to Hogwarts.  They had agreed to take Peter along, who had unexpectedly received a Hogwarts letter, making him the first wizard in his muggle family.  Due to a perfectly natural wariness of anything unknown, Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew had requested that the Potters take Peter to get his school supplies, and they would make it up to them later.  Peter, though, didn't seem to mind too terribly that his parents weren't there.

            They emerged into the little area just behind the Leaky Cauldron.  Peter stared in bafflement at the brick wall as they approached it.

            "Are you ready, James?" asked Mr. Potter.

            James beamed.  "Yep!"

            "But," Peter interrupted, nonplussed, "there's nothing but a brick wall here!"

            The Potters smiled at each other.  Mr. Potter tapped the wall three times with his wand.

            The brick he had tapped wriggled slightly, then the others around it began to shake violently.  Slowly a great gaping hole opened in the very wall, forming an arch that revealed spectacularily the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley.  Peter gaped in awe.

            "Wow," he breathed, and James grinned.

            "Here, James – take this," said Mrs. Potter, handing him a little sack that jingled with wizard coins.  "Your father and I will be at Fortescue's.  You just come get us when you're ready to get your wand."

            James nodded enthusiastically.  "Come on, Peter, let's go!"

            "Alright!"

*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

            James poked around Artemis's Astronomy Shop, inspecting astrolabes and star charts and telescopes.  It was all so wonderful!  And he could pick one, any one he wanted, oh, the freedom this letter had brought him…though it wasn't as if he didn't have any freedom before, but it was kind of nice not having Peter around.  He had been getting rather ill of him, so they'd split up around Madam Malkins' to speed up their shopping -  oh, this one's positively amazing, just look at all the stuff it has…!  So engrossed was James in agonizing over the one particularly enhanced telescope that he was oblivious to his surroundings and anyone who might be trying to push past him.  He didn't care; he was going to Hogwarts, where he'd actually be _allowed_ to do magic!  After a long moment, James sighed and tore his eyes away from the StarViewer 2000, picking up two perfectly ordinary telescopes as he moved toward the front.

            "Stupid school regulations," he muttered, thoroughly disgusted as he exited the shop.  He had just walked about a yard when a panicked scream issue from behind him, followed by a flood of people rushing past.  James whirled around, wondering what thrilling thing might've cause such a reaction, and, to his amazement, the shop had mysteriously burst into flames.  

Now what brilliant bloke had conjured up that idea?

            WHAM!

            James crashed to the ground.  His school supplies clattered around him.  Stars flashed in front of his eyes, and he shook his head.  "What the…?"

            As his vision cleared, the crowd dispersed, and the flames began to die, he heard someone swear loudly.  James blinked several times before he could finally see a boy about his age hastily picking up several astronomical devices.  He peered at him suspiciously.

            "You stole those, didn't you?"

            The boy jumped in surprise, dropping everything he had gathered so far.  He glanced sharply up at James and scowled.  "What's it to you?"

            James shrugged.  "I don't think you should've stolen them," the boy's scowl deepened, "but it was absolutely brilliant the way you went about it!  Wish I'd thought of putting Filibuster firepowder on the shops…  What's your name?"

            The boy stared in shock for a moment longer before realizing James wasn't lecturing him, but asking him a question.  "It's Sirius…Sirius Black."

            "Oh, you're the Blacks' kid!" James exclaimed.  "I've heard about you!"

            "You have?" Sirius asked interestedly.

            "Yep!  My parents know all the pure-blood families in London – we're all distantly related, you know – and they especially talk about your family."

            "What about?"

            James frowned.  "Bad stuff.  But I thought you sounded pretty wicked from how Mum and Dad said you torment your parents."

            "Really?" said Sirius, the corners of his mouth twitching with the beginnings of a smile.

            "Uh-huh!  I though the flower idea was awesome," said James excitedly.

            "You mean the one where I replaced number thirteen's pansies with Devil's Snare?" said Sirius, just as ecstatic.

            "The very one!" James replied.  "I did the same thing to number twenty-four's petunias, only I used Venus fly traps.  My parents would never let me get my hands on a Devil's Snare."  Sirius gave a little chuckle, but there was a touch of bitterness behind it.  James, however, was too elated to give it much thought.  "By the way, I'm James – James Potter," he added, holding out his hand.

            Sirius grinned broadly and shook it.  "Nice to meet you, James!"

            James's grin was equally as wide.  "Same here!"

            "_What_ are you doing?"

            The boys froze mid-shake as an ominous shadow crept over them.  They slowly looked up into the face of the irate shopkeeper.  His shop was still intact, due to the harmlessness of Filibuster firepowder, but he had lost every single one of his customers.  Plus, there were still several obviously stolen goods littering the ground around Sirius and James.  The shopkeeper had every right to be as purple as he was.

            "Er, nothing, sir," said Sirius.

            "We…we were just about to return these!" said James quickly, gesturing at the illegitimate supplies.  My friend Sirius here saved them from the fire."

            Sirius nodded vigorously.

            The shopkeeper eyed him suspiciously.  "Did he now?  And may I call your attention to the fact that my shop is still quite intact?"

            James faltered for a moment, but he recovered quickly.  "Well, it was so _convincing_, sir…"

            "We panicked," Sirius added helpfully.

            "That's right," said James.  "And we just had to save the closest stuff!"

            "We had your best interests at heart," said Sirius.

            "Yes!" said James more enthusiastically, now that he had a story to cling to.

            "Yes sir!" piped Sirius.  "Didn't want them to get scorched by the flames!"

            "No sir!"

            "Did you a favor, I did!"

            The shopkeeper frowned, still seeming uncertain of what to do with these ruffians.  After an achingly long minute, during which the two boys smiled as innocently as they could, he harrumphed deep in his chest.  "Alright.  I won't press charges, but you are heretofore banned from my shop!" And with that, he stormed away.

            As soon as he was out of sight, the two heaved a sigh of relief.

            "Banned from the Astronomy shop," James moaned.  "My parents will kill me if they find out!"

            "It could've been worse," said Sirius darkly.  "For a second there I was afraid he was going to have us sent off to Azkaban!" 

            "We make a pretty good team, don't we?" said James suddenly.

            Sirius glanced at James in surprise.  James grinned stupidly in reply, and Sirius couldn't help but do the same.  "Partners?" he said, holding his hand out just as James had before.

            "Partners!"

            "There you are!" exclaimed Peter, coming up beside the two new friends.

            Both of them jumped nearly a foot high.  James clutched his chest, willing his heart to calm down as he realized (with considerable relief) that it was only Peter.  "Geez, Peter, don't do that to me!"

            Peter winced.  "Sorry, James."

            "Who's the runt?" Sirius asked amusedly, gazing curiously at the round-faced boy.  Peter frowned.

            "Oh, right!" James exclaimed.  "Sirius, this is Peter.  Peter, this is Sirius.  He's my new partner in crime!"

            Sirius smirked, but Peter's face fell.  "But I thought _I _was…"

            James's smile wavered.  "You are too, Peter!  You're both my partners," he assured the boy with a wink.  

Peter beamed.  "Oh, I almost forgot," he said suddenly.  "I meant to ask you if you had got the telescopes and if you were ready…to get…your…wand…?  What happened to you?" he inquired, finally noticing the filthy state of their robes.

            "An accident," James answered quickly, causing Sirius to snicker violently.

            "Oh," said Peter dimly.  "I hope it wasn't too bad."

            "It wasn't," said James, elbowing the nearly hysterical Sirius.  "So, we going to get our wands now?"

            Peter's face brightened.  "Yep, I already told your parents to meet us at Ollivander's!  Come on, James, I'll race you there!"

            Nah, you go on ahead," said James, ignoring Peter's resulting crestfallen expression.  "I'll catch up with you later."

            "Oh, alright," said Peter reluctantly.  "Well, I'll let your parents know you're coming."  And with a wave, Peter trotted off.

            "What a moron, eh?" said Sirius, no longer even trying to keep a straight face.

            "Hey, don't say that," said James, beginning to walk in the direction of Ollivander's.  "He might not be very bright, but he's a good guy.  He brought me my fireworks back."

            Sirius shrugged.  "Whatever you say, James.  So, how about those wands?"

            James grinned.  "Race you there?"

            "As if you had any chance of winning against me."

            "There's only one way to find out.  Ready…"

            "Set…"

            "GO!"

*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%

            A little while later, James and Sirius jogged up to the wand shop, side by side and breathing heavily.

            "I'd – say – it's – a – tie," panted James, and Sirius nodded breathlessly.

            "SIRIUS FENRIR BLACK!"

            Sirius cringed as the call rang sharply through the air.

            "Your mum?" asked James sympathetically.

            Sirius nodded.  "Yep.  Wonder what she's on about now…"  He sighed, then smiled at James.  "So, I guess I'll see you later."

            James opened his mouth to reply, but Mrs. Black's piercing voice cute him off.

            "SIRIUS!"

            "Gotta go," said Sirius, smiling apologetically before striding off in the direction of his mother's summonings.  "See you!" he called over his shoulder.

            "See you!" James replied, waving wildly until Sirius had disappeared around the corner.

            "Who was that, James?"  The boy started and spun around to see his father standing behind him.  He shrugged nonchalantly.

            "Another kid going to Hogwarts," he replied.

            "Oh, really?" asked Mr. Potter interestedly.  "What was his name?"

            James hesitated.  "Er…Sirius."

            His father's eyes narrowed.  "The Blacks' eldest?" James paused, then nodded slowly.  "You shouldn't be associating with that crowd, James.  They're nothing but – "

            "Sirius isn't like them!" James interrupted adamantly.  "He doesn't even _like_ his parents."

            "All the same, he's got bad blood.  You'd do better to avoid him.  Any of the Blacks or their kin, for that matter.  Now, why don't we go and get that wand?" 


	2. The Very First MisAdventure

**2**

**The Very First Mis-Adventure**

            "Doesn't it ever lie flat?" Mrs. Potter mused, trying in vain to tame James's hair with a wet comb.

            "Mum, stop!" said James, ducking away from her hands.  She smiled sympathetically as he ruffled his hair up defiantly.  "It doesn't, okay?"

            "Oh well.  It _is_ what endeared your father to me."  Elaine gazed adoringly up at her husband, who immediately pulled her into a loving embrace.  James felt like vomiting.

            The train whistled, almost impatiently, from behind him.

            "Oh, you better get going, dear," said Mrs. Potter anxiously.  "It looks like it'll be departing any minute now."  She reached out towards James's hair again.  He ducked, scowling.  "Oh, alright," she laughed.  "Garrett, love, why don't you help Jimmy with his trunk?"

            "Jimmy" glared at her.  "I can get it myself.  And don't call me Jimmy."

            "Of course not.  Well, I'll see you come Christmastime, Jimmy."  She then wrapped him in a tender hug and pecked him on the cheek.  James wriggled free and straightened his robes indignantly.  Mrs. Potter giggled softly, "Love you, dear."

            "Love you, too," James grunted.

            Mr. Potter patted him on the shoulder.  "Good luck, kid.  Keep your nose clean."

            "Yeah, whatever," said James dismissively.  All he wanted to do now was get to Hogwarts.  So, he waved once more before heading toward the Hogwarts Express, dragging his cumbersome trunk behind him.

            "Oy, James!" a voice shouted just as he was about to step up into the train.  James spun around to see who was calling him, and he was extremely pleased to see Sirius struggling his way through the crowd.

            "Hey, Sirius!" he called, waving frantically.  He paused to shove his trunk the rest of the way into the train (blocking the way even further), then raced out to Sirius to help him with his.  "Good to see you," said James, lifting the other end.

            An obvious look of relief flooded Sirius's face.  "You, too," he replied, grinning.  "Now, let's get us a compartment."

            James nodded, stepping up onto the train to retrieve his trunk.  He began walking down the corridor looking for an empty compartment, Sirius following.

            "Here's an empty one," he declared three compartments later.  The two shoved their trunks under the benches and seated themselves near the window.  James glanced out.  "Hey, there're my parents!" He waved.

            Sirius leaned forward to get a glimpse of them.  "They seem nice enough…Wish my parents were like that."

            "Where are your parents, anyway?" asked James curiously.

            "They hate coming here – 'It's packed with muggles!'" said Sirius in an uncanny imitation of his mother's shrill voice.  He shrugged.  "They just showed me to the barrier, explained how to get in, then left as quick as they could.  Expect they'll bear it for Regulus," he added darkly.

            "Who's Regulus?"

            "My little brother," said Sirius dismissively, then added (as he was obviously keen to get off the subject of his family), "So, what house do you think you'll be in?"

            "Gryffindor," said James promptly.

            "Me, too," said Sirius with a satisfied air.  "If only to spite my parents."  The two laughed.

            The train gave a sudden lurch, whistling loudly and cutting off all attempts at further conversation.  The wheels began to chug.  The whistle blew again.  Then the train pitched forward, finally underway.  James waved to his parents one last time.

            Suddenly, the compartment door flew open to reveal a panting Peter.  He smiled in relief at the sight of them before collapsing into the nearest seat.

            "Thank goodness," he said, breathing heavily.  "I just barely made it!"

            "Good job, Pete," said James brightly.  "Just think what might've happened if you had _missed_ the train!"

            "I wouldn't have minded," muttered Sirius, and James elbowed him sharply.

            The conversation drifted again to the Houses of Hogwarts (Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw), and then to how they might be Sorted.

            "I heard from my cousin that we have to pull baby alligators out of a tank," said Sirius.

            "How would that Sort you?" asked Peter curiously.

            "Well, I suppose it depends on which part of you it bites off," said Sirius nonchalantly.  Peter paled.

            James laughed.  "Oh, don't worry about it, Peter.  They'll probably just ask us questions or something."

            "But I don't know anything about magic stuff!" Peter wailed, eliciting another bout of laughter.

            "You'll do fine," James reassured him.  "Just try to keep your head."  Peter nodded wordlessly.

            Suddenly a bell rang in the corridor outside the compartment, and the door slid open to reveal a plump old witch pushing along a trolley full of treats.  "Care for a snack, dearies?" the witch asked sweetly, and the boys were immediately on their feet, buying one of everything: mouth-watering fudge, prettily wrapped chocolate, chocolate frogs (which come with collectible trading cards), colorful lollipops, Drooble's Best Blowing Gum, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, delightful-smelling cauldron cakes, and many other delectable tasties.  Soon the compartment was filled with the smell of food.

            "Aw, I got Morgana again," said Sirius, examining the card out of his Chocolate Frog box.  

            "I've got Dumbledore," said James helpfully.  "Want to trade?"

            "Nah, I've got three of him already," said Sirius, waving his hand disinterestedly.

            "Lemme see, lemme see!" said Peter, jumping up and down with excitement – he had never heard of, never mind seen, these cards.

            James laughed.  "Here, Pete – you can have it.  Start your own collection."

            Peter stared in awe at the card now in his hands.  "Can I really?"

            Sirius rolled his eyes as James nodded, causing Peter's face to glow with delight.

            "Excuse me…"

            The three turned in the direction of the voice.  A pale-looking boy with shaggy, sandy brown hair and wolfish eyes stood in the doorway leading into the compartment.  Seeing that their attention was focused completely on him, his cheeks reddened slightly and he averted his gaze, apparently very interested in a dirt speck on the ground.  "Ah, I was wondering if I could join you…"

            "Of course!" said James immediately, his grin wide.

            The boy jumped and glanced back up, continuing to stand in the doorway, as if he hadn't really expected James to say yes.

            "Come on in," said James, clearing the wrappers off an empty seat.  "No need to be so shy – we don't bite."

            The boy gave a relieved smile, but there was an inexplicable sadness in his eyes that no eleven-year-old should have.

            Not that James and his friends noticed.

            "Nice to meet you," said James as the shaggy-haired boy seated himself.  James extended his hand.  "James Potter."

            The boy hesitated, then seeing James's encouraging smile, he took the offered hand.  "Remus.  Remus Lupin."

            James shook Remus's hand enthusiastically.  "Nice to meet you, Remus," he said, then pointed at his friends.  "That's Sirius Black – "

            Sirius nodded and flashed Remus a bright smile.  "Wotcher, Remus."

            "And Peter Pettigrew."

            Peter jumped to his feet.  "Hullo, Remus!" he greeted him, holding out his hand and beaming.

            Remus couldn't help but return all the smiles.  He shook Peter's hand.  "Nice to meet you all."

            James suddenly stood and rubbed his hands together.  "Well, now that introductions are over, it's time for initiation!"

            "Initiation?" asked a baffled Remus.

            "Initiation?" echoed Sirius and Peter, equally confused.

            "Of course!" said James.  "Five is the perfect number for a group of friends!"

            "Five?" Remus repeated.

            "Give it some time," said James confidently, patting Remus's shoulder.  "I'll find her some day.  Now, everyone hold up your right hand.  Your other right, Pete – good!  Repeat after me: I, James…"

            "I, Remus…"

            "I, Sirius…"

            "I, James – "

            "Peter!"

            "Oh, right – I, Peter…"

            "Do solemnly swear…" James continued.

            "Do solemnly swear…" the others repeated.

            "That I am up to no good."

            "What?" said Remus.

            "Just say it," James ordered, grinning.

            "That I am up to no good!" the three chorused.

            "There!  That seals it," James declared.  "I hereby pronounce us…friends for life!"

**A/N**:  Wow…really short chapter.  The next one will be longer, I promise.  _Much_ longer…


End file.
